Forbidden Love

September 5, 2007

Since I’ve been posting about my cat I might as well let you know what’s going on in his life. As some of you may know, Chirp has a female cat. And she wants my Fahood to sire her kittens. I just want him to screw her cat and enjoy himself (I’m sorry Chirp, but my cat has commitment issues, but they’ll always stay friends).

I’ve been debating with myself whether I should let him romp around but then cruelly take that pleasure away from him (his balls are going to be removed). After much debate, I decided I’d let him meet Chirp’s cat and see what happens (honestly what I wanted to happen was for him to mount her and I’d videotape the whole thing and call it…. ummm… fuck fest ’07- and then I could sell the tape as porn and make some money off of it). I think people in Kuwait with buy it right? I mean the retarded sexually-frustrated guys in Kuwait would buy anything labeled “fuck fest” right? And even if they find out it’s cat porn (I wonder if such a thing exists), once I explain some things to them I’m sure they’d buy it. Here are some things you should know about cat husbandry (mating and breeding) that will definitely tempt you to buy my cat porn:

1. Male tomcats have barbed penises. What is a barbed penis? Watch my cat porn to find out!

(The barbed penis helps stimulate ovulation FYI)

2. When the deed is done and the tomcat withdraws, the female lets out a really loud cry. Is it a cry of pain (from the barbed penis perhaps?) or a cry of pleasure? Watch my cat porn and judge for yourself!

3. Copulation (the process of fucking-for all you laymen) occurs many times when the female is in heat. Therefore the video is going to be long: more bang for your buck!

4. Females will mate with multiple partners if given the chance. If impregnated, the kittens she has, even though they are in the same litter, may be from different fathers. If Chirps cat mates with other cats, I will add a special feature to my cat porn:

” After the fact: Who my baby daddy?” Featuring Maury Povich. In this segment all the kittens will undergo DNA testing to find out who is the father.

When one of the kittens is proven to be from another father my cat is going to go “I told you bitch! I told you! Whateva! Whateva! Huh!” *does the moonwalk*. Well, actually, he’d probably just go “Meow” and then lick his crotch area.

So after hearing all that, you’d be tempted, atleast a little, to buy my cat porn, right?

Anyway, all my dreams were shattered when my father forbade the meeting of my and Chirp’s cat. I think it was because it would be cruel to give Fahood that kind of pleasure and then have it taken away, but he wouldn’t really discuss it. My mom said “Eeeee! I7na ma 3indina sbayyan yit3arafon 3ala banat oo hal kharabeet! lol”.

And so the love between the two cats has been forbidden.

In retrospect, as much as I would enjoy marketing cat porn, my parents are right. It would be cruel to take away such a pleasure from any creature once it’s known to him. Forgetting the cat porn, the real reason I wanted my cat to “do it” was because my brother would constantly tease my cat with “You’re gonna die a virgin! Nananana!”, which I know my cat doesn’t understand, but I do, and I know I wouldn’t want to die a virgin. So what do you all think? Is it better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all?

Wow, its amazing how I can turn things like cat porn into something so deep. I’m so awesome *hug myself*.

A cat doing a ferret – I think its considered rape

catferret.jpg

Here are a couple of random pictures for all of you:

iPod-Compatible Pants

mp3-pants.gif

 

Hmmmm…?

marshmallw.gif

 

From the Internet

dontworry.jpg

 

Lumpfish

 lumpfish.jpg

Trying to put the old pics up again:

horoscope.jpg

barak.jpg

internalbleeding.png

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5 Responses to “Forbidden Love”

  1. Prophet said

    Whiskey: Dear lord baby jesus cannot help you now, you’re on my turf baby! And it be craaaazy!

  2. N. said

    LOL@ C&H!

    We brought in a male cat to mate with ours once. It was not pretty at all. I think there was bad blood. Our cat kept chasing him all over the house, until she kicked him out.

    I’d buy your cat porn, too bad its been banned by internal affairs. Tehee.

  3. chikapappi said

    LOOOOOOOOOOOL!!! HAHAHAH! I JUST peed in my pants! LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL –

    I have 5 cats – “get both your cats & we shall witness “group lovin'” ;)

  4. Prophet said

    chika: Gangbang? Cat orgy? I’m up for the feline group love session

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