Mozart and Children

August 30, 2007

I’m sitting here, at work, listening to some Mozart trying to calm down and relax. I’ve been stressing over continuing my “higher studies” (not as in smoking a joint, but rather the real deal). I’ve been stressing over if I’ll even be able to go, who’s going to pay for it….etc. Anyway, as I sit here, with Mozart’s Menuetto Moderato Trio plays soothingly in my ears, I’m reading about things that could stress me out so much more, namely children. Children are like ferocious, comic little people on drugs. They’ll pretty much drive you insane if you don’t know the proper way to wrangle them up. Like this woman who sells the stuff her kids buy (without her permission) on EBay. Poor woman…. What’s worse is this guy (what a freaking retard).

100 kids? Is he crazy? I mean, I understand, back in the day, if you were royalty you’d want to have alot of kids just in case your enemies invaded and wanted to kill the entire royal family and take over the nation. But these days…. come on! I mean there are some bloody annoying Emarati people that I want to kill out there but I doubt that anybody is going to try to slaughter this guy and his family (except I might now, because he’s seriously contributing to overpopulation and overcrowding in the world).

I wonder how he decides what he’s going to name them. Letters won’t work, there aren’t enough in the alphabet. I guess you could number them. # 1, #2 (the first two would probably get made fun of alot, you know, number two…. hehehe).

I would name my kids after different products and get my kids sponsored for life. You know, call them things like Aquafresh, Kotex, and Trojan(man) – I obviously won’t be needing Tojans though if I have 100 kids. Let’s see what else is important to have around the house, oh, Pringles, iTunes, Showtime, Orbit, Playstation… and the list goes on.

I guess I would have 100 kids if I could benefit off of each one… I have to start right now though if I want to have enough to sustain me through the rest of my life.

Kids make great slaves too. So obedient, if you hit them enough.

Just because you’re somebody’s kid doesn’t mean they like you, you know. Take a look at what Leona Helmsley did. She left $12 million to her dog instead of her descendants. Damn, that one rich motherfucking dog! Woof!

leona.jpg

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Look at one of the stupidest toys ever made:

spin-the-bottle.jpg

 

A Spin-The-Bottle bottle for $35? Who would buy that? Obviously, no parent is going to buy it for their kid (unless your house is a brothel and your mother is raising hookers). And why would a kid spend $35 on something that could be substituted for a $1 coke bottle? In the states if a kid had $35 and wanted to get some action, he’d just give it to the local whore and get her to go down on him. Obviously the creators of this toy didn’t think it through very well. For shame!

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Do you know what time it is? That right, its picture time!!!!!!!!!

Kick-ass new NASA rocket

new-nasa-rocket.jpg

 

Forget it

toon-forget_it.jpg

 

Coming to Life

matthammill.jpg

 

Inflatable Pub (I soooo want one- I NEED it!)

inflatablepub1.jpg

 

This makes me laugh- so evil!

emo_lawn_tshirt.jpg

 

Have a great long weekend kids! See you next week! Just in case I die this weekend I want you to know one thing- the quote of the day:

“When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep — not screaming, like the passengers in his car.”

 

 

 

 

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6 Responses to “Mozart and Children”

  1. Tooomz said

    Lol I’m imagining the stupid kids who want to play spin the bottle and reply “we can’t, we don’t have it”.

    I think I would name my kids after cartoon characters. I’d have Sports Billy, Johnny Bravo, Dexter, Dee Dee, Belle, Sebastian, Ariel, Eric, Flounder, Nemo, Kit ‘n Kat, Smurfette, Cheetara, Snarf, Lionel, Rainbow Brite, Jem, Shrek, Donkey…well..you get the picture…

  2. Chirp said

    LOL omg imagine having a child called “iPod” LOL the poor child, but at least its better than “@” these ppl wanted to call their kid that.

    I would call my children after superhero’s but are there 100 super hero’s?

    I do not want 100 kids anyways.

    These rich american clowns, giving their money to animals!

  3. chikapappi said

    LOL too! kids named after objects walla numbers! 2 kids is MORE than enough bas these people are like rabbits :)

    As for the dog, lucky biaaaatch :P

  4. Jacqui said

    What if some of us got robbed of the 3 day weekend :(

  5. whiskey said

    I wish i was a dog

  6. N. said

    I’d raise these 100 kids as an army, my own personal foot soldiers! Then I would rule the world!

    12 Million? The dog is probably thinking, “Yeah, who’s the bitch now?”

    “Forget it”! ^_^

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