Shiite- Or as I like to say: Shi-Aight!

August 16, 2007

Ladies and gentleheathens! Step right up to the new edition of The Chronicles of Random. Today we’re going to start off with the wonderful topic of relegion. Specifically, shi-aights! and sunnis.

Let me give you some background on me first so that you know that I am not genetically or environmentally biased to either side. I am a half-blood. That’s right, i said it: I’m half shiite and half sunni.

Shocked? If you aren’t, good. But most typically Kuwaiti people get a confused look on their face and they look at me like some sort of mutant. It’s really funny.

Now, let me clarify, I am technically shiite (because daddykins is). Do I really believe that Shiite are better than Sunnis? Or that one is more true or correct than the other?

Nope: It’s all essentially the same crap. That’s right I said crap. I’m going to hell. I mean please people, do you really think because you pray to God 10 minutes early or late (depending on which side you’re on), that God will smite you? Who are you kidding? God is supposed to be merciful and great and only strikes the wicked. If he is evil and retarded enough to judge me on silly things like a 10 minute lag, how I wear a hijab (and if I wear one at all), how can I respect Him as a great being and pray to him?

Would you pray to a God that is evil and spiteful? I wouldn’t. If you do, well, you’re essentially praying to the devil. You satanist!

The God I pray to is good, kind, merciful, understanding, and knows the core of all of his creatures. And he knows that I am essentially good and caring. And I wouldn’t have it any other way.

Offended? Good. I want to offend both parties. Because you’re both as retarded as each other- and yet you’re both convinced you’re the best. Do you really think God is going to give you a gold star and put a scratch-and-sniff sticker on your hand for hating your fellow brethren and completely believing you’re the shit because somebody “told you so”. Fuck that!

Now, let me tell you my experience on being Shiite: There’s discrimination (it exists) and some sunni people feeling threatened if you talk about your side of religion (it’s kind of like a negro talking to a polite white supremacist today: it shows that the white supremacist is disturbed by the negro and what he’s saying but he doesn’t want to say anything- atleast not to the negro’s face).

Anyway, there’s a bunch of crappy things that some Shiite people do: i.e. flagellation and self-mutilation. Which is so stupid. And you don’t even have to be Shiite to do that. A bunch of other religious factions believe in faith through pain. So you’re not special. Another thing is, do you really think you’re not bringing anybody back from the dead by creating such a ruckus? I very much doubt Al-Hasan or Al-Husain give a rat’s ass that you’re beating yourselves for them? They’re probably shaking their heads and thinking “idiots”.

On the other hand there are some kick-ass pros to being Shiite rather than being Sunni.

  1. Can get married without your father’s approval
  2. Can inherit all of your parent’s money if you’re an only daughter. As opposed to being Sunni, where you’re male cousins get their grubby hands on some of the moola.
  3. You can watch people be buried and go to the cemetery, even if you’re a girl. My understanding is in the Sunni cemetery (separate cemeteries- how fucked up), if you’re a girl, you can’t go in – or you can only go on specific days.

So basically, being Shiite is better for you (in terms of rights), if you’re a girl.

Anyway, I want to know what you all think about the whole Shi3a, Sunna thing, or if you even think about it at all. Comments people! Comments!

PS: I wasn’t raised a shii3i or sunni: Actually, funny story- as a kid, whenever I heard people say shii3i or sunni I always thought it was a soccer team like qadsawi or 3arbawi. Seriously! I never new there were two Islamic factions until I was way older. So then how was I raised, as in what was I raised to be?

Simple: I was raised to be a good person. Which is more than I can say for alot of people out there.

Prophet’s Lesson of the Day: Just be a good person. That’s what God wants you to be.


On a lighter note: PICTURE TIME! And they’re of animals. Yay!!!!!!!!



Angora Rabbit- fuzzzzzzzzzzzzzy!




Aye Aye




Dumbo Octopus


Emperor Tamarin – Loving the beard!


Frill-NeckedLizard- Like the one in Jurassic Park!




Komondor Dog- He’s jumping.




Proboscis Monkey


Red Panda


Star-Nosed Mole


Sucker-Footed Bat


Sunbear-AKA Dogbear






White-Faced Saki Monkey


Yeti Crab



I was on the phone with Tooomz and from that conversation comes the quote of the day:

Me: Why aren’t you listening to me?

Tooomz: “I’m reading about the troubles of Britney Spears”


Note: Flippy died. And I’m really really sad. I feel guilty. He seemed to be getting better. So I didn’t take him to the vet. I should have taken him to the vet. :( *sob*


11 Responses to “Shiite- Or as I like to say: Shi-Aight!”

  1. Intlxpatr said

    Very interesting. You’ve really seen both sides. I loved it that as a kid you thought they were like football teams!

    And I really like what you said about God looking at the core.

  2. Tooomz said


    I think Sunni girls have a benefit when it comes to divorces. Someone was telling me that a lot of Shiite girls get a Sunni marriage contract because in case of a divorce they would get to keep the kids. I am not sure though, so verify before you take it as fact. I’m trying to remember who I heard it from.

  3. N. said

    Poor Flippy! You killed him :/

  4. Spikey said

    you cannot use part of sunni and part of she3a rights…its like your sayin im a Muslim but I take eating pork from Christianity…it doesn’t add up…

    each has his own believes…if you are sunni you know why and if she3y you know why…most people become sunni or she3y because of their familes…I am a sunni because I read about the two…and I believe in sunnis more…

    its not about having rights..Islam is Islam…if the quran says you cant..and the prophet Moahmmed PBUH says you cant..then you cant…full stop…

    and about having rights as a girl..thn become a christian..coz the guy asks the gurl for marriage and doesnt need the parents approval…and vice versa…but of course you should believe all the rest…

    at the end…we aint here to judge….one will judge us when the time comes….

  5. well honestly I was born a sunni still am in a way
    I guess, I grew up between sunni and shiite friends. I have a philosophical nature so I continuously debated these questions in my head. my conclusion was the same as yours that how you pray is a minor factor. prayer in it’s essence is an activity ordained on us to show humility and loyalty to god. as long as you heart is faithful the way you pray makes no difference.
    if i had my way I would start a movement called neo-Islam which would bring more thought into this (allowing new interpretation instead of haveing every new thing added as haram!)
    our major problem is with they 3ulama’ and mufakireen they insist on the old interpretations and hold no room for change! only problem is if i said anything they’d probably scream “blasphemy” and kill me :P

  6. Jacqui said

    Tooomz its true, Sunni Contracts states in the case of a divorce then the mother would get the kids until they are 18 then they can decide who to be with.

    Shiite contract states the mother gets the child until 9 years of age then its back to Papa.

    Don’t ask how I know that :P

  7. Prophet of Random said

    Spikey: Yeah, I can judge people. I don’t necessarily judge them on their beliefs but rather their actions. People can believe that God is a big giant pasta ball with meatball on him, and He goes around touching people with his Noodley Appendage. And His prophets are pirates. I don’t really care. I have no substantial, scientific evidence to prove otherwise. NOBODY DOES. What I judge people on are their retarded actions and the audacity they have to run around and tell people shit like “You’re not Muslim- you’re shi3i.”

    No matter what a person believes they should always respect others and be nice to them. At this point I think it would be appropriate to quote a Mormon boy’s words to Stan from South Park:

    “Look, maybe us Mormons do believe in crazy stories that make absolutely no sense, and maybe Joseph Smith did make it all up, but I have a great life and a great family and I have the Book of Mormon to thank for that. The truth is, I don’t care if Joseph Smith made it all up, because what the church teaches now is loving your family, being nice, and helping people, and even though people in this town might think that’s stupid, I still choose to believe in it. All I ever did was try to be your friend, Stan, but you’re so high and mighty you couldn’t look past my religion and just be my friend back. You’ve got a lot of growing up to do, buddy. Suck my balls.”

    Some people don’t care about the real truth about God,and never question what they are taught. I don’t encourage that, but as long as they are nice enough and respect me, then fine.

    And on the topic of rights: Ofcourse i’m going to choose (officially) the religion with the most rights that are beneficial to me. That’s the most logical reason to “choose” a religion in an official sense. I’ll register myself as that which allows me to be the most free and is the most fair. What idiot would place themselves in a situation of oppression and inequality if they could choose otherwise? I would register myself as buddist if it was the best in terms of the rights I would get. Who cares? its just a label. I know what my beliefs are in my heart, and so does God. Who cares whats on a piece of paper?

    Tooomz and Jacqui: Yeah, I think you girls are right. The “fatrat al-7adana” (period of child rearing) differs for each sect. I think for shi3a it is 9 years if its a boy and 12 if its a girl (not sure though).

    You know what’s even better than both contracts, though? Kidnapping the children and moving to New Mexico. My bastard ex-husband will never get his hands on them then! Nevvvvvvvvvaaaa!

  8. chikapappi said

    I ain’t got anything to say except WOW! MAJNOOONNNNA! :) I loved it & I too go through this crap, I hate it when I have to think of the differences and how society divides people o most fucked up thing is how parties act towards each other creating this hate….

    I just do not discuss it!

  9. Zakya said

    well…i absoulutely agree with this article..except the cursing parts and god it evil nd what not. i am also sunni & shiite. what bothers me the most is my parents are always fighting on whether i should be sunni or shia. one day thay started at it again nd i got soo sick of it. i sed ” that’s enough i had it with u 2 fightng all the time im not sunni im not shia.. u know what i am im SHUNNI!”.they both looked at me like i was some kind of alien from outer space. i was like i am gonna follow both ways i was like if i can’t make a decsion i will take it up with god.i personally don’t think something like this pplz shud fight about. you both believe in god nd that is wat shud matter!

  10. Jumana said

    Kinda offending :/

    but other than that.. good job

  11. Warren Photographic said

    Dear Sir/Madam,

    I see you have used an image by Jane Burton of an axolotl on your website. Jane Burton is my late mother, and she dedicated her life to rescuing and photographing animals. In appreciation of her work, I wonder if you would be kind enough to add a link from your site to hers, as this would help others to find her collection of wonderful photographs.

    The website address is

    Thank you,
    Mark Taylor

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