Your hairdresser

August 7, 2007

Ola chicos and chicas! Welcome back to another edition of The Prophet’s Life Lessons. Today’s lesson: Make sure you really know who your marrying, cuz some people is fucked up!

My crew here at work keep me updated on Kuwait’s happenings, I wouldn’t really know otherwise because I don’t concern myself with such things. Anyway, today’s newest piece of gossip is that a top surgeon from a “good” family here in Kuwait recently married a Tunisian hairdresser. Ok, cool, not too scandalous. Who cares? The bitch slap in it is that he’s already married and he got to know the hairdresser because she’d come and do his wife’s hair at their home…….. oh snap!

I’d be feeling pretty pissed if I were this guy’s wife. I mean, my fucking hairdresser? You see ladies? That’s why I’m not going to marry a Kuwaiti man*. They fuck our maids and marry our hairdressers. I mean if I were going to do something like have an affair or marry somebody else I’d screw a hot Italian man and marry a part-royal British millionaire. You try to get something better than what you have, you climb up the ladder not down, I guess some people just lack common logic.

I mean really, what would you think if a kuwait girl came up to you and said she slept with her driver and married the shawarma guy at Badr il Budoor**. You wouldn’t go “You go girl! Gimme five!”. Atleast I wouldn’t.

I’m not trying to to say Kuwaiti women are any better. They’re just as messed up. For example, yesterday I went power-walking in Muhalab (I’m trying to become healthy and shit). Now, I’ve got to let you know that I’ve gone to Muhalab maybe 5 times in my life and its always been at night and two of those times is was just to jog around the top floor. I went yesterday, at around 3.20 so I managed to make “prostitution time”.

The girls from the college of business studies go to muhalab and flirt and sometimes leave with these random 3agad guys. And all these girls are munaqab, wearing a fitted (seriously fitted) 3abayat and tons of make up. The niqab isn’t a problem (the girl shows the guy her face if she’s interested in him—saw it myself). And they walk around in groups and shit and talk to any random 3agady guy (who’s obviously there to ta3arraf). These girls are some serious hos. And apparently, alot of the girls wear only lingerie under their 3abayat (so they’re ready when they need to get it on). Also notice that there are probably 6 lingerie shops in muhalab (because of the concentration of hos).

And the guys are no better. They’re 3gadi skinny-ass, mufasal dishdasha bastards. They do things like walk around in pairs trying to talk up girls while holding hands (as in the two guys are holding hands. Uuuuuuggggggggghhhhhh! *shudder*)

So what’s the point?: Make sure to know who the hell you marry because if you don’t he may end up being the type of person that marries your hairdresser, or you wife might end up giving you the clap because she used to be one of the Muhalab hos. You just never know these days.

*Kuwaiti girls are no better
**Its okay if you marry somebody from Badr Al-Budoor because they have the best kabab sandwiches!

+++ I would write more on this topic but it’s time to go home and you guys don’t pay me enough to stay overtime. Wait… now that I think of it, you pay me nothing! Hmmmmphh! I’m leaving!

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6 Responses to “Your hairdresser”

  1. omtantoo7 said

    shifteeeeha il kalba!!! umbaaaay 7adi karaht’ha.. i used to like her.. The sad part is, such gossip goes around in smses thru out kuwait in no time.

  2. N. said

    What is it with walking in Muhalab’s top floor? I always hear about people going there. I have been there once, and it is just a regular top floor of a mall! What’s special about it? I’m curious.

  3. Chirp said

    LOL your hilarious.
    I heard about the tunisian hairdresser, she worked at La Mode salon ;p

  4. Tooomz said

    Now you tell me where the good kebab is?!

  5. Prophet of Random said

    I go to Muhalag’s top floor because it’s nice, oval-shaped, airconditioned, and empty. And you can go and get a nice smoothie from Dr. Smoothie when you’re done walking.

  6. Prophet of Random said

    And about the hairdresser, she still wants to come to women’s homes and do their hair. She was asking a married friend of mine if she wanted her to come to her house. My friend just said “Inshalla, ashoof oo adig 3alaich”

    But in her mind, my friend actually wanted to say “Hell no! Bitch please! I don’t need you doin some Tunisian voodoo black magic shit to my man and getting him to fall for your tore up from the floor up ass!” *three finger snaps*

    Okay, maybe that’s not what she wanted to say but that’s soooooo what I would’ve said!

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