July 5, 2007

This post is specifically for McBastard. But I will allow you all you enjoy it. I’m sooooo great and kind, I love myself.

Anyway, for McBastard:

I’m at work with nothing to do. So I will educate you:
Firstly, I love a man in uniform. And I know you’ll have a new appreciation for the military once you read the following:

“Dolphins have been used by the US military in various capacities for the past several decades, but the Navy has repeatedly denied rumors that it has trained dolphins to run kamikaze bomb missions into enemy boats or submarines or perform other deadly acts.

Still, there have been reports over the years of other military uses of dolphins. A 60 Minutes report featured dolphin trainers who claimed they personally taught dolphins to intercept enemy divers of the coast of Vietnam. The dolphins were able to corral divers, tearing off their face masks and regulators.

In addition, the BBC reported that Russia sold its military dolphins to Iran for use in the Persian Gulf. Little is known as to how Iran deployed the dolphins.”

Loooool! Imagine a dolphin ripping the scuba gear off of you! POWERFUL! Now I know why you “appreciate” dolphins so much.

I was reading more about your favorite weapon, the trebuchet. The one thing that I didn’t know about it, which also made me like it much more is the following:

“The trebuchet is also believed to be an early biological weapon, as armies would load the trebuchet with corpses riddled with diseases like the Black Plague and hurl them into areas under seige in the hopes of infecting large numbers of their enemies.”

Bastardly, I would love to do that! Blast plague-ridden corpses onto people. Ahhhhh…. man, I was born in the place and time.

And now, for the topic we were discussing the other day, Mr. Hands. I was mistaken: the man didn’t do the horse. The horse did him.

“Kenneth Pinyan (June 22, 1960 – July 2, 2005) was a Seattle, Washington resident who engaged in sexual activity with full-size stallions near Enumclaw, Washington, some of which he videotaped and distributed informally under the name Mr Hands. His death at the age of 45 from accidental internal injury (perforated colon), in July 2005, received during a sex act being videotaped by a friend of his, was one of the most read stories in The Seattle Times for that year, and prompted the passing of a bill in Washington State prohibiting both sex with animals, and the videotaping of the same, some months later.

A video often named Mrhands.mpg showing a stallion having anal sex with Pinyan is sometimes used as a shock video on the internet; however, this is not the video of the fatal accident. A documentary of the life and death of Pinyan, and the life led by those who came to the farm near Enumclaw as he did, debuted at the Sundance Film Festival 2007 under the title Zoo. It was one of 16 winners out of 856 candidates for the festival, and played at numerous regional festivals in the USA thereafter. Following Sundance, it was also selected as one of the top five American films to be presented at the “prestigious” Directors Fortnight sidebar at the 2007 Cannes Film Festival. ”

More accurately he died by “Basically, his colon was ruptured, along with his lower organs in that region, and he bled out.”

NASTY!!!!!!! This is why I say sex with animals is wrong!

You can find another article on Mr. Hands in the encylopedia of stupid (it also allegedly has the link to the video):

I honestly haven’t seen the video so I don’t know if the link on there works. I don’t have the guts to see it. I’m afraid the images will be permanently burned into my eyeballs.  Let me know if you see it.

For everybody else, I can’t believe that I didn’t post about this before. I thought that I did. I was going to post about the most unusual deaths of the 21st century, I guess I forgot. I’m such a good educator though! I think I should become a kindergarten teacher, don’t you?

“Sex with horses is wrong kids. Can you say, bea-stia-li-ty? Yaaaaaaaaay!”


Normal human-horse relationship


One Response to “Dolphins”

  1. sknkwrkz said

    ok so i get why sex with horses is banned,… but why is videotaping the act banned?

    i’m pretty sure i read something about a diver getting sodomized by a dolphin once,…the navy divers worst nightmare,…horny gay iranian dolphins.

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