The Random Rants of A Sleepy Person

June 18, 2007

Hi all,

I’m really really sleepy. And I still have 3.5 boring hours to sit thru before the workday is over. How on earth am I going to stay awake. I should have brought some redbull with me.

There’s this medication called Modafinil  that’s used for narcoleptics. Maybe I can get my hands on some of that. If it works on the UK miliary, its gotta work for me, right?

I wish I had a nice soft pillow on my desk right now. And a USB electric blanket (they exist, you know). Ahhhhhhh… That would be heaven right now.

I’m so sleepy that my eyes are slowly crossing themselves. I look retarded. I’m trying to type as much as I can, I’m trying to distract myself from sleeping. I don’t think its working though. Alright, I’ll just lay my head down for 5 minutes. Don’t fall asleep. DON’T FALL ASLEEP. 

.

.

.

.

Ok, I can’t put my head down, I’ll definitely pass out. You know what? I think that it should be mandatory to have a half an hour naptime in all establishments. It should be a labor law. And they should give power-nap seminars. Now that‘s a seminar I wouldn’t mind going to.

Those seminars actually exist by the way. ‘Why would corporations allow their employees to sleep on the job?’, you might ask. Well, because power naps mean more patience, less stress, better reaction time, increased learning, more efficiency and better health. Therefore sleep is good for business. Still, I can’t fall asleep. Must….struggle…against…..drowsiness…..

…… Okay, I just had a cup of coffee and a short chat with a co-worker. I’m feeling better. Its 12.10 now. 3 hours to go until FREEDOM!

Look at what I found. I should try this someday:

Caffeine Nap

A Caffeine Nap[1] is a power nap that was preceded by the intake of an energy drink, i.e. coffee, Red Bull, Rock Star, Monster, etc. An energy pill, i.e No-Doz, Vivarin, Ultra Pep-Back, can be used as well.

To be most effective you must take the source of energy quickly and be able to fall asleep within minutes afterwards. Otherwise the energy source will begin to work and will prevent you from falling asleep. With this in mind, the energy pills will get absorbed slower than the energy drink and might be the best choice.

Once asleep the energy source will begin to enter your system and will wake you up in the normal time frame of a power nap (20-30 minutes). Once woke you will have the energy from the nap and a boost from the energy source as well.

_____________________________________________

Ah pills! How I love them so! Me and pills actually have a love-hate relationship. I get sick alot. And when I was in the US, retarded, unneccessary pill-dispensing doctors had me on like 13 meds at one time. I hated it at first. But needless to say, I not only got used to it, I got addicted to it. Its crazy how fucked up you get when you’re on so many drugs at the same time. You’re mind is fogged up. I don’t know how to explain it. But I do know you really should avoid driving (I almost killed two people- only then I realized I shouldn’t be driving).

Anyway,  back to the fun part about drugs: Even though I know I’ve built up a tolerance to certain meds (like codiene and antihistamines don’t make me feel funky like they do to other people), I feel placated when I pop a pill. I feel calmer (for a short while), even if its just Panadol.  Now, don’t get me wrong, I love popping-pills but I don’t pop them needlessly. I have a headache most times or something like that. Yeah, sure I could go without Panadol, it’s not a horrible headache. But why suffer?

I don’t get people who are in pain (and it shows and they complain about it) and they go “I don’t like taking medicines, I don’t like putting chemicals in my body”.

My response is : “Motherfucker, your body is composed of chemicals! The reason you are in pain is because of a chemical reaction. So just take some fucking Panadol and shut the fuck up. Its Panadol, not fucking chemo bitch!”

I thought that ‘bitch’ at the end was a nice touch, don’t you?

I wonder if other people are the same as me. Once, I went to a friend’s house and I got a headache. I ask for some Tylenol or anything of the sort and THEY DIDN’T HAVE ANY. I couldn’t believe it. I’ve never heard of a house not having things like that. That is really strange, right? Its not just me, right? Oh yeah, and you know what’s even funnier about it: I could probably find 5 types of different illegal drugs in this person’s house but they had no friggin’ Panadol.  Oh, the irony!

I personally have pretty much every legal , non-prescription drug in my possesion. If any of you are ailing from any sort of generic illness, let me know. Chances are I know how to treat it.

It’s 1 pm. Only two hours to go! Woooohooo. Let’s see, what else is there? Hmmmm…..

I guess I can talk about myself a little bit more, seeing as I’ve already admitted some shit to y’all.

Let me tell you about my awesome powers as the Prophet of Random. You may ask ‘Why are you so special? What makes you different from all of us?’ Well, I’ll tell you why I’m special, and this is the complete and honest truth: My mind exists in a different realm than eveybody elses. Neurologically speaking, I have theta brain waves when I’m awake, where as normal people only have them while they’re asleep. Therefore, I am, neurologically, in a constant dream (a better word for it is ‘meditative’) state. Cool, eh? But in return for my greatness, the Random gods have lessened from my memory and learning powers. Those evil bastards! BTW, I was diagnosed with this prior to my med binge, so this isn’t the result of being on the medical equivalent of crack.

Who needs memory anyway? Its not like I’m going to forget what I just said and say it again. Its not like I’m going to forget what I just said and say it again.

Hehehe…. I kill me. Anyway, that’s some info about me for you. Tell me about yourselves. I’d love to know what makes you so special and different.

Okay, its 1.30 pm. And I’m feeling sleepy again. That means the coffee only lasted 1 hour and 20 minutes.

I’ve run out of things to say for the time being. So I guess I’ll sign off. See you all tomorrow!

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2 Responses to “The Random Rants of A Sleepy Person”

  1. boredq80 said

    all I can say is, I wish I can blog at work, it would make time pass so much faster.

  2. noura said

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

    priceless..

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