Priapism: Disease? Or blessing? (Warning: NSFW, like I care)

June 18, 2007

I LOVE all things medical and I especially love all things medical and strange. So today kids we’re gonna talk about priapism. A common side-effect of several medication. ‘What is priapism?’ you may ask. Well, I think wikipedia defines it best:

“Priapism is a painful and potentially harmful medical condition in which the erect penis does not return to its flaccid state (despite the absence of both physical and psychological stimulation) within about four hours.”

That’s awesome! Any hot guy suffering from priapism CALL ME *wink wink*.

Oh, no…… hold on a sec….. there’s more:

“Potential complications include ischaemia, clotting of the blood retained in the penis (thrombosis), and damage to the blood vessels of the penis which may result in an impaired erectile function or impotence. In serious cases, the ischemia may result in gangrene, which could necessitate penis removal.”

Ouch! That can’t be fun. Buuuuuuuut…. thats freakin’ hilarious to think about (in a wonderfully sick and twisted way).

I mean a gangrened penis? I’ve never heard of such a thing. Just goes to show that you learn something new everyday. I wonder if I can find pictures…. hmmmmm…………………………………… nope. Nothing really (a load off of your mind, right?)

But wait! There’s so much more!

How do you treat such a terrible affliction? Well boys, meet the Winter shunt:

shunt.gif 

That must not be too pleasant. There’s another shunt too, it goes in the base of the penis instead of the head. But I don’t want to load the picture up. I mean, I’m at work, and I think people here are starting to doubt my story that all the penis pictures I have are related to a wealth management product I’m trying to introduce to the wealthy and kinky.

Anyway, you might be wondering where the name priapism comes from. Well, the Greeks, of course! The name comes from the god Priapus, referring to that god’s most notable attribute: ironically and pertinently one version of the Priapus myth has Priapus punished by the gods for attempting to rape a goddess by being given a huge but useless set of wooden genitals.

But the fun doesn’t end there! Who wants to know about the Death Erection? *Oooo ooo I do! I do!*

Well then,

“A death erection or terminal erection[1] is a post-mortem erection, technically a priapism, observed in the corpses of human males who have been executed, particularly by hanging. This phenomenon is sometimes referred to as “angel lust”.

Death by hanging, whether an execution or a suicide, has been observed to affect the genitals of both men and women. In women, the labia will become engorged and there may be a discharge of blood from the vagina. In men, “a more or less complete state of erection of the penis, with discharge of urine, of mucus, or of the prostatic fluid, is a frequent occurrence … present in one case in three.” Other causes of death may also result in these effects, including fatal gunshot wounds to the brain, major blood vessels, or violent death by poisoning, and forensically, a postmortem priapism is an indicator that death was likely swift and violent.”

 Cooooooooooooooooooool! Now I know I can not only kill a person but embrass them post-mortem too! I’d poke his erection and go “Ha-ha! Bastard got what’s coming to him for cheating on me with that ho from Wal-Mart!” *spit on corpse*

Ahhhhhh…….. the human body: Such an amazing thing. This calls for a picture (partially drawn by me): Damn it! I can’t upload it! Oh well, I guess you’ll have to go without. Nuts for you!

 

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3 Responses to “Priapism: Disease? Or blessing? (Warning: NSFW, like I care)”

  1. Narrator said

    that happened to that Indian guy in one of the Grey’s Anatomy episodes :P

  2. sknkwrkz said

    how odd, i always thought blood flowed down as opposed to up when you die. oh and also that you shat your pants during a violent and sudden death as opposed to getting a hard on.

    you could always tell your boss that youre trying to package priapism into a marketable alternative to lethal injection,… specifically targeted at death row inmates convicted of sexual assault. give pfizer a ring,… i’m sure theyd be able to arrange a state contract in texas, and a monopoly!

    get your clients into pfizer on the groundfloor and wait for it to pop,…. literally :P

  3. Prophet of Random said

    Unfortunately, I think it was decided that executions have to be quick and relatively painless.
    I guess we could always use priapism as a form of torture. Like you said, just get the inmates to overdose on viagra.
    And once they’ve gotten a priapism thats when the electro-shock rods come in.

    I wonder if a dick was completely over stimulated if it would explode. I’m guessing that the person would more likely passout. Or maybe his balls would explode.

    Tell me God, who carries the answers to all the questions that plague my mind?

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