ADD! Who me? ADD?

June 17, 2007

Despite people disagreeing with me about this subject. I really feel I have ADD. Now, I’m completely, non-hyperactive, but I turns out you don’t have to be. I have trouble concentrating, I get distracted easily, and I procrastinate like a bitch. So I’ve decided that I’m either slightly ADD or I’m just a lazy motherfucker. I prefer to be ADD, because atleast that’s treatable.

Actually, as I put more thought into it, I’m probably a really lazy person with ADD. Laziness isn’t completely bad, you know. Actually, I find laziness to be a stage of nirvana. I believe that all of us that are truly lazy belong to the divine order of the TEMPLE OF THE SLOTH.

The sloth, my friends, is the most awesomest creature ever. I believe that if I’m lucky, I’ll be reincarnated as a sloth in my next life. I mean just look at the constant look of peace and traquility on a sloths face (they’re always smiling):


Sloths are really chilled-out (its like they’re constantly high). Here’s some more info about sloths from some website:

  • The sloth is the world’s slowest mammal, so sedentary that algae grows on its furry coat. (So alot of them end up green-Sweet!)

  • Sloths sleep 15-20 hours a day. They eat for the rest of the day.

  • Sloths have such a good grip that even when they’re shot dead they stay hanging on the tree-tops – Thus, most hunters don’t even bother shooting them.

  • Infant sloths normally cling to their mother’s fur, but occasionally fall off. Sloths are very sturdily built and rarely die from a fall. In some cases they die from a fall indirectly because the mothers sometimes prove unwilling to leave the safety of the trees to retrieve them.

  • As much as two-thirds of a well-fed sloth’s body-weight consists of the contents of its stomach, and the digestive process can take as long as a month or more to complete. 

  • So how slow are sloths exactly? They mostly move at 0.5 to 1 foot per minute.


Wow, it felt like I was typing my autobiography just now. Creepy.

The only difference between me (lazy people) and sloths is the fact that sloths are quite content living the way they do. I, unforetunately, sometimes feel unproductive and useless when I sleep 15 hours a day. It’s wrong for me to feel that way, in my opinion. I should be able to feel happy and content with the way I am. This is the way I was created. I shouldn’t be ashamed of it. I should try to hide it just because society doesn’t think its ‘okay’ to be lazy. I’m proud of who I am and that I’m lazy!

Sound familiar? Thats right! If gay and lesbian people have rights so that they aren’t discriminated against then so should we. Afterall, we were born this way and nobody should ask us to change. I declare! We should live in a world where when HR calls me in again to complain that I’m being late to work I should be able to slap their asses with a lawsuit claiming discrimination and an unwillingness to accomodate relegious beliefs (I find sleeping to be a form of prayer).

We should try to rid the world of dormitophobia! And with these words I will part:




6 Responses to “ADD! Who me? ADD?”

  1. sknkwrkz said

    i’d rather be reincarnated as a koala bear. the eucalyptus leaves they eat act like pot on their system, so theyre acutally always stoned :P

    oh and join the ministry here they dont discriminate against lazy people.

  2. what about their reproduction rate?!?

  3. Prophet of Random said

    In terms of reproduction: Sloths have one baby a year (sometimes less because they don’t move around enough to find a mate.

    As for eucalyptus: I WANT SOME!!!!

    As for the ministry: I would never, in my right mind, work for our evil, evil government!

  4. sknkwrkz said

    i dunno if theyd act like pot on our system tho.

    youd probably have some wonderfully smooth shits in the morning tho.

  5. Prophet of Random said

    Wonderfully smooth shits that smell like eucalyptus? – sweet!

  6. sknkwrkz said

    lol would make for an interesting reply to the question “what,.. so you think your shit smells of roses?”

    “actually no,… eucalyptus!”

    calling your government evil is giving them too much credit :D

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