Da Bomb

June 13, 2007

Here is a little something to keep you mildly entertained: You know, I always thought the US military budget was going to be used to kill people not make them horny.

The Gay Bomb

A Berkeley, California, watchdog organization that tracks military spending said it uncovered a strange U.S. military proposal to create a hormone bomb that could purportedly turn enemy soldiers into homosexuals and make them more interested in sex than fighting.

Pentagon officials on Friday confirmed to CBS 5 that military leaders had considered, and then subsquently rejected, building the so-called “Gay Bomb.”
Edward Hammond, of Berkeley’s Sunshine Project, had used the Freedom of Information Act to obtain a copy of the proposal from the Air Force’s Wright Laboratory in Dayton, Ohio.

As part of a military effort to develop non-lethal weapons, the proposal suggested, “One distasteful but completely non-lethal example would be strong aphrodisiacs, especially if the chemical also caused homosexual behavior.”

The documents show the Air Force lab asked for $7.5 million to develop such a chemical weapon.

“The Ohio Air Force lab proposed that a bomb be developed that contained a chemical that would cause enemy soliders to become gay, and to have their units break down because all their soldiers became irresistably attractive to one another,” Hammond said after reviwing the documents.

“The notion was that a chemical that would probably be pleasant in the human body in low quantities could be identified, and by virtue of either breathing or having their skin exposed to this chemical, the notion was that soliders would become gay,” explained Hammond.

The Pentagon told CBS 5 that the proposal was made by the Air Force in 1994.

“The Department of Defense is committed to identifying, researching and developing non-lethal weapons that will support our men and women in uniform,” said a DOD spokesperson, who indicated that the “gay bomb” idea was quickly dismissed.

However, Hammond said the government records he obtained suggest the military gave the plan much stronger consideration than it has acknowledged.

“The truth of the matter is it would have never come to my attention if it was dismissed at the time it was proposed,” he said. “In fact, the Pentagon has used it repeatedly and subsequently in an effort to promote non-lethal weapons, and in fact they submitted it to the highest scientific review body in the country for them to consider.”

Military officials insisted Friday to CBS 5 that they are not currently working on any such idea and that the past plan was abandoned.

Gay community leaders in California said Friday that they found the notion of a “gay bomb” both offensive and almost laughable at the same time.

“Throughout history we have had so many brave men and women who are gay and lesbian serving the military with distinction,” said Geoff Kors of Equality California. “So, it’s just offensive that they think by turning people gay that the other military would be incapable of doing their job. And its absurd because there’s so much medical data that shows that sexual orientation is immutable and cannot be changed.”

{END OF ARTICLE}

I think the gay bomb would end up become a black market drug that people would buy to use at their orgy parties. I can understand the theory of using hormones to make people really aggressively horny but how can you make them specifically homosexual. The soldiers would probably end up humping trees and having sex with random animals too.
And anyway, who said that making the army gay and horny would make them less effective in terms of battle. I think they’d be MORE effective. I mean if an enemy soldier came up to me and she started licking her lips and touching herself and trying to seduce me I’d would probably run the other way. I mean, I can’t shoot an unarmed person, I mean, how am I supposed to explain that judge when I’m tried for violating the Geneva Convention (or whatever)? This is probably how the trial would go:
Judge: Ms. Random did you shoot an unarmed soldier in Baghdad?
Me: Yes judge, I did.
Judge: How could you shoot an unarmed female soldier in the face 5 times? She was not a threat upon you.
Me: Oh yes she was! She….she…she was licking her lips… and…. oh God *sob**sob*. I’m sorry… it was just so traumatic…. I can’t…
Judge: Ms. Random please explain yourself.
Me: *Massive sobbing* Then she started touching herself and looking at me… Her eyes they were EVIL! I could tell she wanted to do things to me… bad things… *sob**sob* And she came closer to me, she was going to TOUCH me…. I couldn’t let that happen, could I? Then I’d become infected. I HAD to shoot her, I HAD to!!!!!
Oh god! *SOB* my life was just fine before the gay bomb was invented. *looking up into the heavens-and shaking fist* CURSE YOU GAY BOMB! CURSE YOU!!!!!! STELLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!
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And now, here are some pictures for you to enjoy. And I will give you some wise advice that was given to me, I don’t know why though because everybody knows that my milkshake brings all the boys to the yard and me gusta la gasolina. But anyway, enough about how hot I am and how all the groovy boys like me:

“STAY STRAIGHT!”

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And now for another edition of “Blimey! There are Tiny Animals on My Fingers!” Yaaaaaaaaaaay!

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“Doodleduh-Doodleduh-Doodleduh-Doodle_duh! Doodleduh-Doodleduh-Doodleduh-Doodle_duh!”

The Dave Chapelle tune is COMPLETELY STUCK IN MY HEAD! And I can see him dancing with his goat legs on singing it! Darn you Pedro’s Daddy, for doing this to me!

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One Response to “Da Bomb”

  1. sknkwrkz said

    lfmao!

    umm that’ll create the perfect enemy as opposed to rendering them useless.

    can you imagine a platoon of the super horny with weapons?

    i’m sorry but facing armed people afraid to die is one thing, but i’m running the other way,…. probably backwards, if i ever come across an armed ultrahorny army!

    what the hell were they smoking when they thought that up?

    and hows about a pot bomb :D name one aggro incident caused by someone high on pot!

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