I know… I’m bad

June 10, 2007

So, I’m at work…. if you can call playing Prince of Persia work. So anyway, I’m looking at the website of the establishment that I work for and I see a “condolence notice” so I decide to check it out. Its pretty much typical (the father of someone here passed away- May he rest in peace). Anyway, as I read the letter… well lets see if you notice it too:

“HUMAN RESOURCES DIVISION  

The Management & Staff of

——–

 

   Extend their heartfelt condolences on the sad demise of Father of   

Ms. ——————–

DCGM’s Office

  May his soul rest in peace”

Demise?…. I thought that only evil villians saw their demise. Right? And for your death to qualify as “demise” doesn’t something REALLY awful have to happen to you? Something like you were laughing insanely as you plotted to kill Captain Planet and cover the entire Earth in chocolate when a huge-ass ostrich rams you in the balls and you’re thrown off of (what you just realize to be…) a cliff. But wait! You manage to hang onto the rocky ledge of the cliff. Unforetunately, it turns out that the ostrich enjoys the taste of human flesh so it starts to pick and gnaw at your poor bloodly little fingers. And the ostrich is only encouraged by your screams of pain, and it starts to really use that (usually harmless-looking) beak. At one point, you realize that the bastardly ostrich has eaten all of your fingers and you plummet towards the sharp rocks below, screaming “Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!” *thump* You’re dead.

And now THAT was a sad demise.

Oooohhh! Oooooh! And to add insult to injury (well, in this case, death), the ostrich decides to vomit your fingers off the cliff and on top of your lifeless body.

Anybody want to take a crack at what they think qualifies as “demise”?

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